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Friday, October 29, 2021

Life can be tough when you live in a techno-savvy society

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By BHUSHAN SALUNKE

My First World Problems

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Its great to live in a modern era with information available at our fingertips thanks to technology, saving us time and research when doing our kids’ homework. Our large, comfy homes are much easier to clean with remote controlled robot vacuum cleaners. We have heat-&-eat meals that are gluten free, nut free, dairy free, whatever we choose, really! So do we really have anything to complain about? Of course, we do!
Take a look at these gems I’ve collated from the internet, and if you identify with any of them, throw away your mobile phone and head for the Himalayas immediately.

  • I didn’t have a microfiber cloth, so I had to clean my sunglasses with my shirt like some sort of barbarian.
  • Starbucks has better coffee than Dunkin’ Donuts, but Dunkin’ Donuts has better donuts than Starbucks, so I had to go to both.
  • My lawn is too small for a rider mower, but too big for a push mower.
  • My rental car doesn’t have an automatic trunk, so I have to close it myself.
  • I didn’t get any sleep last night because my friends kept texting me to wish me a happy birthday.
  • My heated seats are too hot.
  • I left my umbrella back in my Audi, and now it’s raining.
  • I have a new jar of Nutella and I can’t find anything to spread it on.
  • My mom calls me down for dinner before it’s ready.
  • I had to put on pants today because somebody knocked on my door.
  • I never get to stay home and relax on the weekends because my city has too many parties.
  • I went out to eat today and didn’t have enough room on my plate for ketchup.
  • I live west of my workplace, so the sun is in my eyes on the drive to work AND on the way back.
  • My professor leaves the cursor in the middle of You Tube videos during lectures.
  • When the automated female voice in my elevator says ‘going down’, I become slightly aroused.
  • I just put hand lotion on and now I can’t open my package of crackers.
  • I need to pee, but this TV program doesn’t have commercials.
  • I microwaved my food for too long and now it’s too hot to eat right away.
  • Someone in the new building at work has the same SMS tone as me.
  • All I have is Dasani water but I really want Fiji.
  • My toaster doesn’t have WiFi.
  • The free WiFi at my hotel is too slow for me to watch movies online.
  • They’ve been giving away free pizza constantly at college, and I’m getting sick of it.
  • I missed an important phone call because my phone was on vibrate during the earthquake.
  • When I wake up in the morning, my laptop screen is too bright and hurts my eyes.
  • I got up to make a drink and my cat stole the place I was sitting.
  • I ate too much raw cookie dough and now I’m too full to eat the cookies I just baked.
  • Jehovah’s witnesses woke me up before noon.
  • My hot chocolate is too hot.
  • It rained on my new Gucci umbrella and now it’s ruined.
I bought a very nice insulated mug, but now my tea is too hot to drink for up to 6 hours.
  • My milkshake was too thick to drink through the straw immediately.
  • I woke before my alarm and lost out on 5 minutes of sleep.
  • My Facebook post only got one ‘like’ and I really thought it would get more.
  • I have too many windows in my home to close when I want to turn on the AC.
  • I had too many First World Problems so I had to go to a second world country.
  • My bank will only let me electronically transfer $10,000 at a time.
  • I drank all my milk but I still have one Oreo left over.
  • I ate an entire pizza for breakfast and now I have no pizza for lunch.
  • My birthday is November 11 so I can’t use my birth month and day as my PIN.
  • The new white tea my mom bought is only 94% organic.
  • I pushed the ‘Coke Zero’ button on the vending machine and got a regular Coke.
  • My favourite pizza place doesn’t have online ordering, so if I want a pizza I have to talk to a real person.
  • My cereal is really crunchy so I can’t hear the television while I eat it.
  • My heated floors are too hot so I have to wear slippers.
  • My college has lousy cell phone reception, so it makes it hard to text during class.
  • My textbook is printed on glossy paper and gives off an annoying glare when I try to study at my desk.
  • I ate my pizza too fast and forgot to dip it in my garlic sauce.
  • I have a $50,000 car but I don’t want to drive it because I found a spider in it.
  • My new king bed makes my room look small.

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